My birthday is next week. I've gained weight and my clothes don't fit. My mother had my cat put down without bothering to ask my permission. The boy I like is dating my enemy. My stalker is trying to throw a surprise party for me. My supposed best friends are getting tired of my ever continuing trend of self destruction and are pulling away. I hate my job more than ever. I want to leave this town but I don't have a way to escape and I know all this will just follow me wherever I run to.

My cat died on Friday. He was very ill and my mother had him put to sleep. She failed to mention that fact to me over the weekend. I called her on Monday telling her about how I'd been out getting Christmas presents in the city and that I'd found some cool things for him. That was when she finally broke the news to me. She had him cremated but didn't even bring the remains home so he could be in the yard.

I'm devastated. I canceled all my plans with friends because I can't keep it together. I left the house briefly for cigarettes and binge food from the corner store and the clerk asked if I was ok. I looked in the mirror at home later and realized how much of a wreck I am right now. I basically haven't left the bed since I got the news and have been asleep more than I've been awake. I'm dreading work in the morning, but I can't call out because of a mandatory meeting they've scheduled for everyone.

That cat was one of the only things I loved in the world and I didn't even get a chance to say goodbye.