Now all my friends know. About me about what I do. They've all heard me puke at some point when we hang out. I may never be able to show my face at work again. Or at anywhere. I hope the house burns down tonight with me in it.

I smoked weed laced with bath salts tonight. I honestly think I might die right now. I wouldn't have smoked it if I'd known it was laced. So I puked while hanging out with my friend and then told him all about that I have an eating disorder. Because I am so fucked out of my mind right now that I can't stop myself from saying everything.

I'm so sick right now I might possibly throw up everything I've ever eaten. I'm scared something bad will happen and there's nobody here to call emergency for me. And no insurance to pay for it either. I hate this shit, everything seems huge and terrifying. How long before it ends and I'm sober and ok?