They were offering a free body fat test at work today. Of course I took advantage. I've never had one before so I dunno how I stack up compared to when I was dancing or weighed 200 pounds or anything. Anyway, I was horribly disturbed because I discovered I'm at 32.8% body fat. Based on my weight this morning, it means I'm 106 pounds of me and 52 pounds of disgusting fat. Fucking gross.

I joined a gym last week and I have been slowly increasing the resistance and time each day. It's a circuit gym, so generally I hit the elliptical, do the circuit, then finish with a run on the treadmill. Today I felt like I was running purely on self hatred by the end. I felt stronger because of it. It's easy to run when you desperately want to escape yourself. I knew I was fat before, now I have proof of just how bad it is and that everyone who says I'm skinny just doesn't know what they're talking about.