This morning the scale said I was 157 on the dot. I haven't been this weight since February. My tightest jeans are now a bit loose in the thighs and waist. My ass still looks huge so I'm wearing untucked button up shirts to cover it.

I'm at work. New Boy hasn't seen me all week, so to him the 4 pounds I've lost since last weekend are probably more noticeable. He came and stood by my register and smiled at me until I asked if he needed something. He said, nope, I was just gonna bag for you but there's nothing to bag. It's hard to do the right thing when the wrong thing is right there and smiling at you. Kind of the way everything in my life is. Why eat when I get so much satisfaction out of feeling my stomach grumble as it lays flat under my jeans?

The last few days I've been downloading and watching made for TV movies about EDs. This morning I started in on the Thin documentary. I don't know why I'm doing this. Compulsion.

I'm tired.