Black coffee and cigarettes for lunch, same as every other day at work. Except this time the Boy was out on his smoke break and noticed that I was chain smoking and not eating. He smiled and laughed and said it's like I'm a model. Because it's funny and glamorous to have an ED, obviously.

My attempts at restricting got completely derailed today. But I get to start over again on Wednesday with a fast and hopefully next week goes right. I was so stressed out from work that at the end of the night I bought some binge food. When I got home I worked my way through 2/3 of a pack of oreos and a decent sized tub of guacamole spread on tortillas. Normally I can eat the whole box of oreos but apparently there's been some stomach shrinkage from restricting lately. I'm in pain and I know the numbers will be way high come morning. Ugh.

New Boy has been handling me extra carefully the last couple of days. I've been more irritable than usual and am especially hateful when told to do bullshit tasks. So far he's been framing all his requests in super polite terms and following up with me after to find out if everything went ok. I really appreciate being treated like an adult person with feelings. I told him that I think he should be in charge of the floor all the time. The other supes continue to speak to me condescendingly about everything, demand I do stupid tasks right this instant, and say I'm lazy if I stand still for one second, so I make sure to take 10 times as long as necessary and badmouth them behind their backs. Oh hey, yep this is why I never get promotions.

I need to get it together.