Attachment is dangerous

I've planned to move across the country next year, everyone knows and my friends there are excited for me to arrive. But I find myself settling in here finally after five years. I unpacked the last of my boxes a while ago and lately I've been rearranging and decorating. I'm even planning to get a cat. This settled down mind set scares me.

And that stupid Boy and his tight hugs where he holds me close and rubs my back. (He's sweeter when he's hung over and sick, he's not in such a hurry and unfocused.) When I told him months ago that I was making plans to move away he said "Don't leave me. I'll miss you." I haven't brought it up again, but I want to say "I think I love you, come have an adventure with me and we'll find out."

I've always just been able to load up the car and go. I'm scared of getting tied down to people and things.