After being friends for five months, the Boy and I have actually made tentative plans to go out and get drunk together. I even invited him to crash at my place instead of trying to make it home after, he said that was really sweet and awesome. I was really really not smooth at offering, but he either didn't notice or didn't care.

I feel like I'm standing at the edge of something here, I wonder if I should turn back before I do something I might regret. Because it sounds very much like this is a little outing just for the two of us, and I know how I am when I'm intoxicated and I've heard stories about him. I get attached too easily already, I don't want to get my heart broken if we end up fucking and he doesn't feel the same as I do (I wish I could do the casual sex thing like everyone else, but it never works for me). But really, it's not solving anything for me to worry over it. I need to be a grown up and talk to him.

I'm trying very hard not to think about all the things I might confess to him if we're drunk. If I do, then this will never happen.