Went grocery shopping today (yesterday, whatever, its still today for me). I did really well on choosing things and only bought safe foods. It helped that my mom was running errands with me, she's on a "clean" diet right now (and was ana for most of my childhood) and so is very helpful at choosing low cal, organic, vegan foods and discouraging junk food. She's either oblivious or approving of what's going on with me.

The thing that sucks is now the cupboard and fridge look so full and its freaking me out. I felt safer when there was almost no food in the house. Although if I can manage to binge myself fat on kale and carrots I think I will deserve my fate. And an award.

Despite temptations everywhere all day, the only actual food I ate besides some sliced cucumber for lunch was dinner at a restaurant with my mom. When I got everything put away tonight, I did spend a long stretch of time staring at the food stacked up in the cupboard and reading the labels but I left all the seals intact and now I'm about to pass out. Success.

Therapy appointment in the morning. I don't even know. I'm scared.

Stay strong, keep smiling. Xoxo