Three hours late to work today because why do you even think its ok to schedule me for a midnight close and a 7:30am shift? Its not ok and I couldn't sleep and then when I did pass out I slept through all 3 of the alarms I set. Upon arrival at work my boy high fived me because he was two hours late and we were like a special pair of idiots or something.
So it started off bad and then I had to deal with all these idiots buying ridiculous amounts of food and smell everything and I was alone for the holiday once work was over so guess who came home and ate everything ever. Yeah, me. And then later on facebook a bunch of people said "omg I didn't know you'd be alone, you could've come over!" I wish someone would've invited me sooner because it would've kept me from binging since I'm vegan and couldn't have eaten any of their food anyway, but I could've pretended to.
I'm so mad at myself, I finally got so close to my next GW and then fucked it all to hell today. I bet in the morning I'm up 5 pounds.
This job has completely fucked my ability to schedule my life in a way that works. I need to stop eating after 7pm again and I need need need to start restricting to 600 or less cals a day. That's the only time I feel ok and in control.
The work clothes my mom bought me last month and all of my tight jeans are literally hanging off of me. You'd think it would be helping, but I hate how everything looks on me and I'm going to attempt to shrink them on laundry day. I hate how only parts of me are skinny and the other parts are still grotesquely fat. Why can't I lose weight in any sort of uniform manner?
Fuck everything, tomorrow I will juice fast or die trying.
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