I hate hate hate that I will do so well on restricting all day and feel that dizzy perfect emptiness on the walk home from work, and then derail like a madman within 15 mins of getting inside the house. This is the 4th day in a row that I have ended with a stupid fucking binge and I know in the morning I will be fat fat fat.
Having somebody else know about this.... it's fucking with my head and making it so hard to control. I'm second guessing myself all over the place now instead of following through with my daily plans. I'm even more paranoid now about people seeing me eat. I feel like they must see my secret written all over my stupid face.
Making myself promise that it will be a good day when I get up in the morning and I will stick to the plan I'm writing out before bed. I just need to drink way more water and chew gum whenever I think of food.
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